


The Devil You Know

by literally_no_idea



Series: Notes (TW) [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-07 15:36:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18413591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literally_no_idea/pseuds/literally_no_idea
Summary: Steve finds a handwritten letter in Tony's workshop, in an envelope labeled "Steve," by itself on the cleared off table closest to the door.(Please note the tags. The story is currently marked 'Mature,' please let me know if you think it would be better marked as 'Explicit.')





	The Devil You Know

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the content of Tony's suicide note. That's it. Sorry.

~~ Hi Pepper, I’m really sorry ~~

 

~~ Hey Rhodey, I think we both knew ~~

 

Dear Captain Rogers, I thought it would be best to address this to you, as you’ll hopefully be able to word this better for Rhodey, Pepper, and Peter, when you tell them. After all, if you managed to keep the secret about Bucky from me for so long, you’ve probably had a lot of time to think about how to word things like this. Besides, your letter to me afterwards was really polite. When you tell Rhodey, Pepper, and Peter, try to tell them tactfully, yeah?

 

Anyway. This is a… goodbye letter, I suppose. No point in dancing around the topic. It seems so tacky, writing a letter, but there are actually things I need to say, so. A letter.

 

First of all, there’s nothing you could have done to stop this. Even your tactical brain can’t predict every outcome. I know, because, believe it or not, I’m a tactician myself. I grew up the rich prodigy of a famous white guy, of course I was a chess fanatic. I could checkmate people in three moves, but since Dad’s business was technology and engineering, well. That’s what the media focused on. Anyway, that doesn’t matter, sorry. Point is, you couldn’t have known. You couldn’t have stopped this. Don’t stress yourself out about it.

 

Second, you’ll want Rhodey to take over as aerial support, in battles. I know, I know, ‘how could anyone replace Tony Stark,’ but he can. He’s brilliant. He didn’t get his MIT degree as a kindness. He’ll cover you in aerial battles, no problem, just, don’t let him get shot out of the sky again, yeah?

 

Third, I need someone to take Dum-E and You, they’re going to need a new place to stay. Uh, they’re both kind of stupid (Dum-E especially, hence the name), so you’re going to want to make sure they’re not around anything breakable, or anything you care about keeping. But just. Don’t break them apart, okay? Dum-E’s been around for years, and you may not agree, but I feel like he has a soul, a heart, a personality, you know? I don’t want to think about him being killed, okay? Just. Please don’t. Call it last wishes of a dead man.

 

Fourth, I want the tower to go to Pepper, the compound to go to Peter, and the old Stark mansion to go to Rhodey. Each of them will know what to do with their new inheritances. Speaking of inheritances, I want company ownership to go to Pepper, and any of my personal funds to be divided evenly between Pepper, Rhodey, Peter, and Bruce. They can each decide what they want to do with their money.

 

Fifth, there’s tons of designs in my workshop, in my bedroom, all over the tower and compound, probably, I tend to scribble on napkins when I don’t want to forget something. All of those go to Bruce. Make sure SHIELD doesn’t get their hands on it, same with the government. Any government, for that matter. Bruce will know what to do with everything, what’s safe to share and what isn’t.

 

Sixth, and finally, I need you to make sure my death isn’t glorified. There’s no goddamn reason for it to be. And if you try to glorify it, I’ll… well, I won’t be able to do anything, but I’m asking you not to. I might be pretty even in death, but suicide isn’t. It’s… well. It’s me needing an escape. An end. A rest.

 

Because I’m sorry, Cap, but I can’t do this. I don’t know how long you all expected me to keep doing this, but I can’t. I’ve been having nightmares for years, and that was before Afghanistan. Before the wormhole. Before… before whatever happened in Siberia. I can’t do this.

 

I can’t sleep, I have panic attacks, I work more than I party, and even the partying I used to do was just for show, because I was always hiding this. This pain. And it’s weak, it’s spineless, it’s the coward’s way out, but I don’t care anymore. If I spend one more damn day trying to manage by chugging coffee mixed with alcohol and red bull… well. That might kill me on its own, but this way is easier. quicker. more certain.

 

Because I’m a genius, so obviously I know exactly how I’m going to do this. It’ll be clean. Neat. Nothing too bad to clean up, I hope. Still make sure it’s a closed casket, will you? And make sure Rhodey gets to pick what I’m wearing, and Pepper arranges the funeral, and everything, and you know what, I’m sure they’ll make the right decisions, so just. Leave that part to them..

 

Okay. Well, that’s all I have to say, I think. If you need someone to design newer weapons for you, talk to Rhodey, or there’s a couple contacts I know that can help. Ask JARVIS for the “back-up builders” list. He’ll give you their names and numbers and everything. Yeah.

 

Alright. Best of luck. Have fun saving the world.

 

- ~~ Anthony Edward ~~ Tony Stark, Iron Man.


End file.
